I hate Valentine's day. Seriously.


Now don't get me wrong here. I'm not trying to sound like a desperate, hopelessly depressed, single male who really just wants to be loved. Hell, If I were in a relationship I'd celebrate valentines day too. I have been, I did. And I did my best; chocolates, hallmark cards and flowers, a homemade meal and making love to candlelight. I did it because everyone else was doing it. And golly gee, didn't that make her feel special. I hate Valentines day because you are obligated to demonstrate your love, admiration and appreciation for those you love.

But why can't I just tell you I love you because it's Tuesday? Why can't I buy you flowers just to see your eyes light up? Why can't I tell the people I hold dear that I care about them without resorting to a capitalized version of kindergarten arts and crafts. And I love to know that you appreciate me. I am one of the billions of people out there that have an invisible sign above my head that says, "Pay attention to me, I'm important; I matter." But don't wait until Valentine's day to tell me. Tell me today. It's not going to hurt. Isn't it more romantic to say, "Hey, I bought you flowers. I was thinking about you, and I just wanted to make you smile, because I love you." rather than "Hey, I bought you flowers so... when are we going to have sex?" Not that that is what Valentine's day is about at all, oh no. Of course not.

I love chocolate. So if it's Valentine's day I would love if you gave me some. But hell, wouldn't it be even better if you got all that chocolate on sale? You could get like 3 times the chocolate for that and show 3 people that you care and appreciate their company for the same price! Take that Capitalism, Hah!

I don't actually mind public displays of affection, most of the time. So long as you aren't very nearly humping in front of me, I am okay. I may be slightly uncomfortable, but it isn't that big of a deal. If I were truly in love I'd want to shout it from the rooftops; I'd want everyone to know that you are special to me. So I empathize. It may still make me uncomfortable to watch you get a tongue shoved down your throat, but hey I can deal. But honestly, it isn't a competition; you don't need to invest in a midget wearing a toga and a pair of tacky white wings. Unless of course you're keeping that in the bedroom, then by all means go wild. Midgets, donkeys, burning Saints, oh my!

The single worst part of Valentines day, in my opinion, is that single people feel like dirt for simply being single. So what ends up happening? The love starved go to tacky Valentine's day themed hook-up nights at the local meat market, get stupid drunk and make horrible decisions they may regret the morning after. I'm all about casual sex, but... I definitely wouldn't call that the best way to start a meaningful relationship. And it is depressing to know how oppressed, ostracized and altogether worthless some singles feel if they don't have a warm body next to them.

And if it isn't the love starved, there are the bitter desperate people who pine for love and seek attention by spreading hate. Bad way to tell someone that you care about them, if I can be so bold.

My solution to all this is actually pretty simple. Don't wait. Don't try and make one day of your year full of love. Tell your special someone exactly what you think; there is nothing better in my book than a completely candid, honest compliment, or gesture to catch someone off-guard and make them feel good. And hell, valentine's day isn't just about your special someone, so go out there and make someone happy every day of your life. I don't know about you, but I feel great when I make someone else feel appreciated. And that is all the reward I ever need.

By the way, happy Day to you.
Thanks, and sorry for the inconvenience, and the messy thoughts.




Edward Lillywhite